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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28634367">lay me gently (I'll crawl home to him)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Petr1chor/pseuds/Petr1chor'>Petr1chor</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>take me to the barricade [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Les Misérables - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mild Angst, Pre-Relationship, Self-Esteem Issues</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:48:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,106</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28634367</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Petr1chor/pseuds/Petr1chor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>New years eve makes Grantaire a little melancholy, but it's nothing Enjolras, kind words and some dancing can't fix.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Enjolras/Grantaire (Les Misérables)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>take me to the barricade [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2049165</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>55</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>lay me gently (I'll crawl home to him)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a prompt fill i did on tumblr<br/>Enjoy!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Grantaire loved the sharp, cold air of late December. Well he usually did. New Year’s always made him a little melancholy.</p><p>What do I have to celebrate anyway, he would tell Eponine when they punched him in the arm and told him to lighten up.</p><p>All the celebration and the over the top decorations in the apartment had grown too stifling, a stark reminder of the endless marching of days, constant, regardless of however far behind he was lagging. There was, of course, also the fact that he was trying his hardest to avoid Enjolras. He knew he should probably find him and apologize but he had no idea what to say.</p><p><em>Sorry for dumping my feelings all over you </em>didn’t seem like a very good option.</p><p>The music was slowing down, probably Jehan’s doing. He leaned against the railing, the cold metal of it sending a shiver through him and watched as his friend splits in twos and threes, smiling softly, laughing and twirling to the rhythm.</p><p>Grantaire turned around. There was a cold, heavy ache growing in chest, one he had grown familiar with over the past few years.</p><p>The gentle sound of the glass door sliding open made him turn around, only to see Enjolras ducking through the rather low frame to slip into the balcony.</p><p>“I’ve been looking for you.”</p><p>“Uh,” Grantaire said, inelegantly</p><p>Enjolras opened his mouth as if to say something, then shut it with his teeth clinking together loudly. He bowed his head, heat spreading across his neck before he looked up again, with renewed determination.  </p><p>“Dance with me,” he said, finally, clumsily thrusting his hand forward.</p><p>Grantaire eyed the hand warily, “Look, Apollo, I’ve been meaning to-“</p><p>Enjlras wiggled his hand petulantly, “I can’t hear you.”</p><p>Grantaire relented with a sigh. If Enjolras was determined to dance with him, he would dance with him. He only wish his hand didn’t feel so warm and soft encased in his.</p><p>Enjolras tugged him forward, letting a hand hover over his waist. He tilted his head in question and Grantaire nodded.</p><p>The music was muted through the glass door, only loud enough to carry a soft tune. Enjolras’ hand was scorching on his waist.</p><p>“So,” Enjolras began, and Grantaire felt the warmth in his chest curdle, “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”</p><p>“If this is about what I said that day at the meeting-“</p><p>Enjolras interrupted with a squeeze of his hand, still clumsily trying to lead. He never was known particularly well equipped with grace.</p><p>“Sure, I would love an explanation for that at some point, but that wasn’t what I was talking about. That day at the meeting, you seemed…off, sort of? All week you’ve been withdrawn. Even now, you’re all the way over here. What’s going on?”</p><p>Grantaire felt a panicky heat in the pit of his stomach. The concern was not altogether unfamiliar, Enjolras always did make it a point to ensure the wellbeing of his friends. The feeling of being subjected to that fierce caring when he was singled out was almost too much.</p><p>“Nothing, Apollo, it’s nothing.”</p><p>Enjolras’ face flashed with hurt, “It’s okay if you don’t feel comfortable talking to me about it, but don’t- don’t lie to me, R.”</p><p>Grantaire, losing his battle with restraint, pressed forward into Enjolras. Any closer and his words would be muffled by his hideous sweater.</p><p>“I’ve just…been having a hard time.”</p><p>“Anything in particular?” Enjolras’ voice seemed almost deliberately gentle.</p><p>“No,” Grantaire replied, “No, actually, things have been going really well for me.”</p><p>He stopped, unsure of how to piece it together and felt Enoljras lightly squeeze his waist in encouragement.</p><p>“My mind…doesn’t always cooperate. And things have been going so well lately, sometimes my brain tricks me into believing it can’t be true, or that I don’t deserve it.”</p><p>He felt Enjolras tense.</p><p>“I <em>know</em> that that’s bullshit, okay, I know. My therapist keeps telling me that I need to stop with all the negative self-talk all the time. Even joking about is harmful, I <em>know</em> these things, I do.”</p><p>He sighed and slipped out of Enjolras’ grasp. He turned around, scrubbing a hand down his face.</p><p>“But knowing just…isn’t always enough. My brain still does its very best to convince me that I don’t deserve any of this. Getting to study art. Les Amis. You.” He crossed his hands, holding himself. “That day, after the meeting, it got the better of me, and I’m sorry. My feelings are not your responsibility and I shouldn’t have dumped it on you like that.”</p><p>He rubbed his arms, “I don’t want you to feel guilty or whatever your mind cooks up. You don’t need to be nice me just because my mind refuses to cooperate. Everyone has bad days sometimes. It will pass.”</p><p>Enjolras was wearing a familiar thoughtful expression. One he wore right before he systematically destroyed all of Grantaire’s criticisms of his ideologies.</p><p>He put out his hand once more. Grantaire took it, allowing himself to be pulled forward. Enjolras met his gaze.</p><p>“You’re right. It will pass. But it is also alright to need some help while it does. I’m not ‘being nice’ to you out of pity. I know I have not done a very good job showing this to you, and I’m trying to do better, be better at expressing it. But I need you to know this. I care about you, R.”</p><p>Grantaire ducked his head to hide the warmth on his face. He fought to find words. Instead, he shifted until he was leading, and slowly swayed Enjolras in something that was finally beginning to resemble a dance.</p><p>He met his eyes, Grantaire smiled. It was a small, almost unnoticeable thing. But it was there.</p><p>Inside, their friends were growing more raucous as midnight grew closer. The music had changed into something upbeat and fast paced, but they remained, moving slowly, gently to an unheard melody.</p><p>Grantaire heard Bahorel boom, “Ten!”</p><p>The assortment of voices joined in some content and warm, some shrieking in delight. “Nine!” they screamed, “Eight.”</p><p>“Seven! Six!”</p><p>Grantaire had slowed them to a stop and they stood there, facing each other and counting down.</p><p>Grantaire’s voice was low, “Five. Four.”</p><p>It contrasted wildly with Courfeyrac, who had decided to herald in the New Year by counting down through a megaphone. “Three! Two!”</p><p>Enjolras’ face was almost somber when he whispered, “One.”</p><p>Enjolras leaned forward, pressing his lips to Grantaire’s forehead.</p><p>Grantaire closed his eyes, reveling in the warm press of it. Softly, into his hair, he mumbled, “Happy New Year, Taire.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Kudos, Comment, Share to let me know if you liked it &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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